I think you and I have always had this understanding of honesty and vulnerability. So can I be honest about something the Lord has shown me lately?
Well lately in my devotions, it has been encouraging me to see and hear and freshly encounter my spiritual life. The things I see will fade away, but things that I cannot see are eternal. I just wanna share with you the kindness of God. It's so sweet and can bring me to tears.
My dating experience isn't super fun, but is often funny...unfortunately lol.
I was talking to a guy for a couple of weeks and about a week in, I heard God tell me to stay friends. I wish I had listened because it kinda made my now friendship with him a bit awkward. He is an honorable and honest guy which I think saved both of us in the long run. And even if he's not the right man, I am so grateful that God was present and gave me wisdom so quickly.
Then more recently, I was talking to a guy. Honestly, he fit what I have been praying for more than anyone else. My mom has always said that God upgrades us and our standards. It happened with all of her dates until she met my dad. Early into my conversation with this guy, I heard God tell me, "This is not about him, it's about you." And when it was going very well, all of a sudden he doesn't respond. The next morning he sends a message stating that he thought that I was super cool, but that he's not feeling it. This has been more challenging to process since I had hoped it would be more.
When I got the news, I was at lunch with my dad... I was relieved. I just want both men and women to know that ghosting someone is one of the most dreaded things with online dating. It's so easy to just drop the other person, but I just wanna remind you that someone else is on the other end of the phone. They are looking to meet a nice someone and intentionally putting their heart out there. Even if they aren't a fit for you, doesn't mean you shouldn't be honest with them about where you stand. Thank you to this man that I was chatting with- for being honest and not ghosting me. Anyways, my dad quoted this movie and told me, "You want it too much. If you keep touching it, you will mess it up."
He asked me, "Chloe, how much of this is about the kingdom?" In all honesty, I don't think God is moving through online dating in my life. So I made a hard decision to have a season of closed singleness. It sounds hard, but I also think that it will be easier to live my life trusting God will bring the man with a heart of God in front of me than the pressure of trying to decipher between all the men on dating apps.
If I were to ask you, you who are looking for your beloved future spouse, how do you make you're looking and date about the kingdom? How do you not get swept up in your desire and in your seeking?
Matthew 6:33-34 says, "So above all, constantly seek God’s kingdom and his righteousness, then all these less important things will be given to you abundantly. Refuse to worry about tomorrow, but deal with each challenge that comes your way, one day at a time. Tomorrow will take care of itself.”
From one Godly single woman to another, you are chosen, loved, cherished, and seen by your Father. You don't need to run to any distractions to feel loved or seen, you already are.
My most recent experience with dating showed me that I would rather be single. I know I sound crazy because this is a very unpopular opinion. But I realized that I have so much about my life that I love and I don't want to say goodbye to it unless God wants me to. I love the travel, the military, Waypoint Church in Omaha, NE, and my opportunity for missions/ living in Germany with the military. I wanna be married and have kids, but I felt sad because it would be such a sacrifice. It's funny I want it badly, but not enough at the moment. I know my day will come because I know I was made for it, but I also know that it isn't the only thing that I'm called to do. I would rather spend time on my own fulfilling my place in the military and with Antioch than miss out on all these things to find a man to settle down with.
I just want you to know that if you ever feel like this, it is okay. You can be your person rather than going with the status quo thinking you have to be a certain way. I am content here. I may have hard days, but I know I am loved by many people and a good heavenly Father. I love you guys. thank you for letting me be honest. I know the Lord loves you eternally. He sees your heart and oversees your growth step by step. <3
Recently been at Mcquire Air Force Base in New Jersey, but drove up to the Liberty State Park. So here I am in my natural travel habitat :) unfiltered and happy. thank you God for leading me here.
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