Compass.

I have understood that people all own a physical compass or perceive the concept of a compass differently. A compass simply is an instrument that shows you what direction you are headed in: North, South, East or West. Tonight, I ask myself what direction am I headed in and who or what holds your compass? Who am I looking to for those directions as a guide.

Long ago, I have given that compass of mine over to unhealthy relationships, experiences that have pleased me, experiences that made me, authority figures over the years, desire for solid finances, career and even me. The hope for marriage is one that has haunted the compass for many years. What is the harm in giving it to these things or people? How will these things or people serve the purpose of knowing with confidence even what the next minute holds for me or really anyone else? The harm is great because it gives us a false reality of what we hope to happen based on legitimate fears we may possess. It also is like the house built on sand and when the wind and waves crashed on the shore... the house crumbled. I believe it is time for the beloved compass to be placed in the holy and faithful hands of Jesus Christ.

I find that it is so easy to want to be something or want to take on certain things as our identity throughout our journey in life. I remember the influence TSgt Tami had on me compels me to continue to think of her in my times of doubt or fear of the future because of her faith in me. Her faith in me reinforced my faith in God, but it seems to be backwards now. I find that encouragement from others is suppose to be a support to us as we walk in faith, but when we are wobbly it becomes our focus where we leave God out of the picture. May the compass stay in his hands. I mean, I die to myself for the benefit of through only God's hands, may it be as He has said... "I will make you become fishers of men." Why despair the house on the sand when the option of the house on the dirt foundation was always right in front of me? Why do I struggle when my compass seems to be directionless, but the true compass has already provided the way, the truth and the life for me?

When you look at those questions~ there isn't an answer that doesn't make me look like a fool. Because we were fools before Christ. And it is so incredibly easy to be a fool when the circumstances flood our vision, our hearts are so incredibly heavy and the hardest thing is just to get out of bed. The question remains~ Where are you taking me? When will your plans God match up with my desires because my desires feel silent?

Although the answer remains as the iconic, "I don't know" or the "Not yet" that I can get sick of. I still say, "Yes Lord." Again and again and again forevermore. Yes Lord. May my "I don't knows" and the "Not yets" become something beautiful in Christ. From ashes to beauty transform my life until there is nothing left but Jesus. To the girl who tries to let others hold her compass, may you realize the true essence of your compass is already in Jesus Christ. Not TSgt Tami, not hopes or fears, not the shaken country, and not any amount of sin~ it alone is Jesus Christ.

I wrote this for me, to me and to anyone else that may have placed their future security in any false reality. May you know and remember that it has already been found in Jesus. Lets not look to the left or the right, and keep Christ as our center.

I hope to always be Jesus' highlighter through seasons of joy, pain, loneliness, doubt, fear, love and hope... been learning a lot about the truth lately, the truth of the Gospel. Jesus really paid it all and we have nothing to prove. Never again, no matter what you hear on the radio, societal standards because promotion will always only come from above. I have sincerely have nothing to prove to God, this world and especially to me.

My prayer is that you have the freedom to follow Jesus freely and allowing Him to make you a fisher of men. It is him who is our living compass. It is him who opens and closes doors. And it is him who wants to love and bless his kids, it is us that confuses ourselves. (LOL). May we be a people to follow radically in his footsteps, love Him forever and love others unconditionally as a reflection of our God and creator.

Prepare our fields for God's harvest. God realign where we have gone wrong and reconstruct our lives.

His faithfulness for the ones he loves is endless, and so is our future in Him... if we do not give up. <3

All my love,

Chloe